a meeting the other day, my ministry team and I were discussing how to overcome
the need for the approval of men.
you desire the approval of men, you must also receive their rejection. Both the approval and rejection of men are
from the same root – You have man’s opinion on a pedestal.
need only the approval of the Heavenly Father.
Attemptingto please men instead of God can be a snare and form of idolatry. (Read moreabout that by clicking here.)
were specifically discussing “compliments.”
We were wrestling with how to receive compliments in a healthy way. We also discussed about a healthy way of
giving compliments. Was it ok to build
someone’s ego through giving compliments?
Was it ok to give a compliment to a person who was simply using the gift
God had given them? What if a person was
in rebellion to the Lord and your compliment actually reinforced their
didn’t really find a definitive answer between us, so we just let the
conversation sit and moved on.
days later, the Holy Spirit prompted me through an article I was reading with
these words: Flattery is a sin.
was it! That’s what we were trying to
get to! It’s not that giving someone a
compliment is a sin – it is when a compliment is used to gain favor or if the
compliment is a lie that we are sinning!
we use flattery we are trying to gain the approval of a person. When we use flattery we are using “smooth
speech” in order to manipulate a person.
If your compliment to a person is not authentic then it is a sin.
should be given in sincerity – not with strings attached. Be careful that when you praise men that
there is no ulterior motive behind your compliment.
pay no attention to those who give you excessive blessings, compliments, or
praise. They are simply spinning a web
to catch you in. Run away from those who
you receive a compliment let your heart reflect the praise to God. Be careful not to let compliments stroke your
ego. The only good things we do here on
earth are because of God’s grace. Allow
men to praise you but in your heart give the glory to God. This will keep you safe from those who are
trying to spread a net for you.
Bible has plenty to say about the sin of flattery – read these scriptures and adjust
your thinking and actions to reflect the image of Christ when it comes to
compliments and flattery.
29:5-6 A person who flatters his neighbor is spreading a net for him to step
into. To an evil person sin is bait in a trap, but a righteous person runs away
from it and is glad.
36:1-3 An oracle within my heart concerning the transgression of the wicked
person: There is no dread of God before his eyes, for in his own eyes he
flatters himself too much to discover and hate his sin. The words of his mouth
are malicious and deceptive; he has stopped acting wisely and doing good.
26:28 A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin.
78:36-37 Nevertheless they flattered him with their mouth, and they lied unto
him with their tongues. For their heart was not right with him, neither were they
steadfast in his covenant.
5:8-9 Lead me, O Lord, in your righteousness because of my enemies; make your
way straight before me. For there is no truth in their mouth; their inmost self
is destruction; their throat is an open grave; they flatter with their tongue.
12:2-3 Neighbors lie to each other, speaking with flattering lips and deceitful
hearts. May the LORD cut off their flattering lips and silence their boastful
62:4 They plan to topple me from my high position. They delight in telling lies
about me. They praise me to my face but curse me in their hearts.
55:21 His speech is smoother than butter, but there is war in his heart. His
words are more soothing than oil, but they are like swords ready to attack.
27:5-6 An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend
are better than many kisses from an enemy.
28:23 In the end, people appreciate honest criticism far more than flattery.
16:17-19 Now I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause dissensions
and obstacles contrary to the doctrine you have learned. Avoid them, for such
people do not serve our Lord Christ but their own appetites. They deceive the
hearts of the unsuspecting with smooth talk and flattering words.
1:10 For am I now trying to win the favor of people, or God? Or am I striving
to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a
slave of Christ.
Thessalonians 2:4-6 Instead, just as we have been approved by God to be
entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please men, but rather God, who
examines our hearts. For we never used flattering speech, as you know, or had
greedy motives God is our witness and we didn’t seek glory from people, either
from you or from others.
4:25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your
neighbor, for we are all members of one body.
15:2 We should all be concerned about our neighbor and the good things that
will build his faith.
16:13 Righteous lips are the delight of a king, and he loves him who speaks
what is right.
6:23-27 Your parents give you commands and teachings that are like lights to
show you the right way. This teaching corrects you and trains you to follow the
path to life. It stops you from going to an evil woman, and it protects you
from the smooth talk of another man’s wife. Such a woman might be beautiful,
but don’t let that beauty tempt you. Don’t let her eyes capture you. A
prostitute might cost a loaf of bread, but the wife of another man could cost
you your life. If you drop a hot coal in your lap, your clothes will be burned.
7:21-23 She persuaded him with persuasive words; with her smooth talk she
compelled him. Suddenly he went after her like an ox that goes to the
slaughter, like a stag prancing into a trapper’s snare till an arrow pierces
his liver like a bird hurrying into a trap, and he does not know that it will
cost him his life.
32:19-22 inside I am like bottled-up wine, like new wineskins ready to burst. I
must speak and find relief; I must open my lips and reply. I will show no
partiality, nor will I flatter anyone; for if I were skilled in flattery, my
Maker would soon take me away.