We read about Jacob and his two wives Leah and
Rachel in Genesis 29 and 30. Leah
desperately wanted her husband Jacob to love her. But Jacob loved her sister Rachel.
Leah was unloved.
After Leah’s father tricked Jacob into
marrying her, she found herself caught up in a circle of deceit, jealousy,
victimhood and strife. Leah had to
compete for her husband’s affections.
Her younger sister was more beautiful and she captivated Jacob. Leah always had to live in the shadow of her
Being unloved is probably the most difficult
situation to find yourself in. Being
loved gives a person value and identity.
Leah’s identity was the “the ugly sister.” She was valued so little by her father that
he had to use trickery to marry her off.
Leah was probably quite willing to go along
with her father’s plan of trickery. She
probably thought she could make Jacob love her eventually. But on day one of their marriage, it was
clear that she still had no value as Jacob made a deal to secure her sister
Rachel for marriage the following week.
How devastating for Leah to think she finally
had what she wanted in Jacob, only to be scorned the next day by
not being good enough
Leah became the victim – even though she
agreed with the plan, Leah was now in desperate need of a savior.
The Lord had compassion on Leah and began to
bless her with children. But you can see
where Leah’s focus was as she named each of her children out of her desire to
be loved by Jacob.
LORD saw that Leah was not loved, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren.
Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she
said, "It is because the LORD has seen my misery. Surely my husband will
love me now." She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she
said, "Because the LORD heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one
too." So she named him Simeon. Again she conceived, and when she gave
birth to a son she said, "Now at last my husband will become attached to
me, because I have borne him three sons." So he was named Levi.
You can see that Leah’s desire during the
birth of her first three sons were all focused on winning Jacob’s approval and
love. Leah had Jacob on a pedestal and put
the desire for his love higher than her desire for God’s love. She worshiped Jacob because she thought he
could save her from being the victim and bring her peace.
When we turn to people or things to give us
peace, we will ALWAYS be disappointed.
There is only One Person who has the power to bring us true peace. The Lord is the only One who can restore
value and identity to a person. Idolatry
of a person will only lead to heartache.
Leah finally stopped trying to get Jacob to
love her when she had her fourth son.
Genesis 29:35 She conceived again, and when
she gave birth to a son she said, "This time I will praise the LORD."
So she named him Judah. Then she stopped having children.
When she gave birth to the fourth one she
named him Judah. She turned her eyes to
the Lord and instead of trying to gain Jacob’s approval she praised the
Lord. This is the point at which Leah
got out of the ditch of being a victim.
She stepped down onto the Path of Life and said,
God’s love is enough for me so I will praise Him.
Leah was looking to Jacob to be her
rescuer. She was crying out to Jacob
with each child she bore – “Please love me! Please rescue me! Give me identity. Give me value.” Leah finally learned after four sons that all
earthly RESCUERS will disappoint us.
There is only One person who can truly rescue
us, that is the Lord. He is the only one
who can bring us true peace. Our value
and identity can only come from Him – otherwise we are bowing down to idols.
Jacob was an idol to Leah. She believed the
lie that if only Jacob would love her, she would have peace because she would
belong somewhere. The truth is that she
DID belong somewhere. She belonged to
God. She was deeply loved and deeply
valued simply because of who her Creator was.
God doesn’t make “ugly sisters.”
If Leah would have had her identity rooted in God before Jacob came to
town, she probably would have stood up to her father when he hatched the plan
to trick Jacob into marrying her.
A woman who has her identity and value in the
Lord has no need to “catch” a husband to rescue her.
True peace comes from having relationships in
the right priority. If we are in a
codependent relationship we are allowing someone other than God to be on the
throne. Putting God first in everything
in our lives will bring us peace with God.
It will also create a foundation of peace in your heart that when the
circumstances around us are in chaos, we will have the peace that surpasses
If you are a man or a woman who is looking to
another person for their value, I invite you to rearrange your heart and bring
down every idol. It might seem scary at
first but it is completely worth it.
When Jesus is on the throne of your heart you do not need another person’s
approval. And when Jesus is on the
throne of your heart another person’s disapproval can never steal your peace
Steps to Wholeness:
Father God, please forgive me for having
________________ on the throne of my heart I know that only You can bring me
true peace. I invite you to sit on the
throne of my heart and ask You to help me keep the relationships of my life in
the right order. In Jesus Name
If past family members have trouble with the
approval/disapproval of man you might need to
breakoff a generational curse (click here).
If you have been programmed to have people on
the throne instead of Jesus or if you have substantial soul ties with another
person you may need to
pray thedeprogramming prayer (click here).
Don’t forget to seal it up!
(sealingup prayer here)