Thursday, September 14, 2017

How to Access Living Water on a Daily Basis

As Believers, there are times we have experienced Living Water.  It's that feeling of being refreshed in our souls or the feeling of a weight being lifted off of your shoulders.  This is the process of being set free... it allows Living Water to spring up in our souls and brings us LIFE!

We first hear about "Living Water" from Jesus in John 4.

Jesus spoke to the woman at the well and made a really big promise – He said, “I can give you a drink of water that will never make you thirst again?  The water I give you will become a part of you and it will spring up from within and lead to eternal life.”

When the Samaritan woman gave permission for the Lord to give her the Living Water- what is the first thing He did?

He gave her the TRUTH.

He opened her eyes to her broken condition of insecurity and sin. He pointed out that she had five husbands and was living with a man that was not her husband.  So what did the Samaritan woman do?  She changed the subject.

Isn’t that what most of us do when we are confronted with the lies we are living in?

We change the subject – because facing the TRUTH is hard.

But Jesus did not relent.  In His ever-so-sneaky way, He continued to give the Samaritan woman what she asked for – He continued to give her the TRUTH.

He revealed to her that she was actually speaking with the true Messiah, the Christ they had been waiting for.  The person we know as the TRUTH!

The Samaritan woman is so overcome with the Living Water that has just been released to her that she goes to share the whole story with her town and they come out to also get the Living Water.

There is a simple, yet profound understanding in these passages about how to get Living Water.
Living Water begins with the TRUTH and ends with LIFE. 

Because it is the TRUTH that sets us free. The freedom we receive from the TRUTH brings us LIBERTY in our souls and opens the way for the River of God to be released in us.

Lies and falsehoods block the Spirit of God from dwelling within us.  We must constantly be desiring the TRUTH in all things.  We must constantly be searching for the TRUTH about our own hearts and souls.  God desires for us to worship Him in Spirit and Truth – this means that if we are worshiping Him in our flesh or if we are worshiping Him with false motives – we are not truly receiving Living Water.

If we want Living Water we must understand that it comes from the Spirit and it is full of TRUTH!

A very simple tool to begin to clear your soul of falsehoods is called the “Uprooting Lies” tool.
It is a way to process the lies you are believing about yourself or about God.  When you process these lies by asking the Lord for the TRUTH – He gives you Living Water and sets your soul free!

It works like this:  (Begin with KNOWING that you are a child of God and that He desires to give you Living Water.  Begin with FAITH!)

1.     Ask in prayer:  Father God are there any lies I’m believing?  (listen quietly for the voice of the Lord.)
2.     Renounce the lie by saying out loud:  I renounce the lie that ________.
For example: “I renounce the lie that You, Father God, are cold and distant.”

3.     Ask: Father God what is Your truth?
4.     Declare the truth out loud.
For example:  I declare the truth that You love me and want to hold me like a father holds his child.

5.     RECORD this conversation on paper so that you can go back and review it later.  After getting a revelation of the truth, you’ll need to go back and begin renewing your mind with this new truth! 

After you use this tool a few times it will begin to be a spring that bubbles up in you on a daily basis. You’ll recognize that a specific thought is a lie and then you’ll take it to the Lord for His TRUTH instead.  And...Voila! 

The Living Water is TRUTH that brings us wholeness.

How to Uproot Lies in Your Heart

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

How to Love People Without Strings Attached

One of the hardest things we have to learn as Believers is how to love people with no strings attached.

It's hard to love people when they don't love you back. It's hard to love people even when they desert you. It's really hard loving the gossips and slanderers without giving them an evil eye and hating them in your heart. And it's hard to love the people who use you for their own gain without storing up rage in your heart.

Loving these people requires a "Jesus kind of love."  

Jesus loved the people and even His enemies with no strings attached.  He didn't require them to wash His feet. He didn't force anyone to follow Him.  He didn't hate them in His heart when they nailed His hands and feet to a cross.

At one point, thousands of people left Jesus's ministry because His preaching got too hard for them to accept. (John 6:66)

But Jesus didn't get mad and think "you people owe me! I healed you! I fed you! I delivered you!"  He let them go and celebrated the ones who stayed.  Jesus wants willing followers.  He wants us to know that He will love us, even if we walk away for a season.  He also wants us to love others like that!

Jesus didn't demand honor like the Sanhedrin did.  Instead, Jesus knelt down in love and honored his friends by washing their feet....even ones He knew were fair weather friends.  Peter still got his feet washed by Jesus, the night Peter betrayed Him, no strings attached.

Jesus loves you right where you are at.  He may not be pleased with everything that you are doing - but you are free to sin or not.  Even then, you cannot make Jesus not love you.

As Believers, we are called to become like Christ.  We are called to love as He did... this means we love others without expecting anything in return.

If people want to walk away from a relationship with us, we let them go, and we do not demand that they stay.  We put the relationship in the hands of grace, and we allow the other person to have free will (even if those people are family members).

We lay down our hurt, forgive them, and let them go.  Pride demands an answer or an apology.  Humility says they owe you nothing.  

When people who have hurt you, come back and truly repent - love opens an avenue to restoration.  Jesus gently restored Peter after he fell. And 50 days later 3000 people gave their lives to Christ because of Peter.

The prodigal son's father had no strings attached.  The prodigal still paid a price because he had already spent his inheritance.  But his father RAN out to meet him, an example of our Heavenly Father's love.

The brother of the prodigal had strings attached to his love.  He demanded his own kind of justice.  But that is not the way of Jesus and therefore, it cannot be our way either.

Perfect love casts out fear because there are no strings attached. Jesus's kind of love is without condition.  Now that doesn't mean we don't use wisdom and it doesn't mean we are doormats, Jesus certainly wasn't. But we allow people to come and go in our lives without forcing or demanding anything.

The gift of salvation is free.  Once you come into the family of God, you are IN! You are loved.  Perfection is not demanded. 

As the Body of Christ, we must mature in our love for each other. The Kingdom of God is not a kingdom of slavery... it is a Kingdom of Sons!  We are free to walk out our own salvation with fear and trembling...  

Since we have been loved with an unconditional love from our Creator... how can we truly be His children and not walk in His ways.

We love... because He first loved us.  1 John 4:19

Steps to Wholeness:
If you need to lay a person or group down because you are demanding justice in your heart, don't be afraid of approaching the throne!  God wants to help you to love with no strings attached.  He wants to give you unconditional love for others.

Ask the Holy Spirit if there is anyone you need to put in the Hands of Grace?

One by one hand forgive them and hand them over to Jesus.

Then get on with whatever God has called you to do.  Life is too short to worry about someone who "owes" you.

We'll all be completely free one day in eternity... if you have to let go of a relationship until then, so be it.  You've got a race to run and talents to gain for the Lord!

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Belle is being released to set the Beast free! (A WORD FOR WOMEN OF GOD)

God is calling the women of His Kingdom to rise up.  He is calling His daughters to go on an adventure with Him.  He is making a way for His Beauties to RISE.

But this “rising” is not a worldly revolution – it’s a reformation.

God has been speaking to me through the movie “Beauty and the Beast” lately.  The heroine of the movie is tired of her “provincial” (unsophisticated, narrow-minded) life.  She longs for MORE!  She longs to break free of the town that thinks she is “odd.”  They have decided that she is indeed beautiful – but she is just too strange for them to accept.  She is a misfit.

However, the longing of her heart is fulfilled when she is taken on the adventure of a lifetime.  She ends up becoming a captive of the Beast.  She is a prisoner in his cursed castle that is in a perpetual winter season.  But she “rises” up through her strength and patience and grace and she LOVES the Beast until the curse is broken and he becomes the royalty he was meant to be all along.

God is calling the women who are tired with the mundaneness of the provincial life.  He has put a seed of Holy Dissatisfaction within His daughters who have been calling out for adventure.

For the Lord would say:
“Daughters, I have need of you in this hour.  I need for you to rise up and love the Beast.  Many of my sons have taken hard hits because the enemy of their souls has tried to take them out.  Some of them are prideful because of deep wounds.  Some of them roar because they are broken inside.  Some of them are suffering from neglect and don’t know how to be tender or gentle because they were never taught.

I am asking you to look beyond the mask of My sons.  Look beyond the outward appearance and look to the hearts of My sons.  They are longing to be loved.  They are longing to have communion with people, but the curse that is over them prevents it.

Will you allow yourself to follow Me on this adventure?  You don’t have to be a doormat.  You don’t have to be their slave.  Do not let them be your “Master.”  Let Me be your King... and simply follow Me!

I need my Beauties to be strong and patient at the same time.  I will show you when to stand up to the Beast.  I will show you when to nurture him.  If you follow Me and die to being offended, together, we can break the curse!

The adventure will be daunting at first, but I have equipped you with the Holy Spirit, and you have everything you need to release life over the castle.  Put on the whole armor of God.  Stay close to Me.  I want to restore the authority that Adam and Eve had in the Garden of Eden.

Are you willing to enter the fire, in order to set the Beast free?  When men and women come together as ONE – My Kingdom will be unstoppable!

Let’s go on an adventure and bring reformation to My Kingdom!”

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Prophetic Warning – A Volcano is Coming

“I see the Lord at the edge of a freshly asphalted highway.  It drops off suddenly and a volcano has sprung up in the middle of the road.  You can’t go around it.  You can’t go over it.  It hasn’t blown yet, but it is rumbling.”

Haggai 1 has been on my mind a lot lately.  It is apparent to me that the Holy Spirit is saying something to His Church through it today.

The prophet Haggai brings a word of rebuke to the Israelites who had been brought back to Jerusalem after seventy years of captivity.  They had begun to repair the temple twenty years earlier.  But reconstruction of the temple had ceased, and everyone went to work building their own houses instead.

Haggai comes to the High Priest and the Governor and admonishes them for focusing on their own houses while God’s house “remains a ruin.”  They got stuck thinking that this world was all about their happiness and well-being.  They stopped restoring Jerusalem when their own peace was fullfilled and forgot that they served a God who wanted to establish His Kingdom on earth.

The Israelites weren’t focused on restoring the Holy of Holies by building a place for His presence to dwell –they had their own personal holy of holies…they had achieved (false) peace in their own lives.

For the Lord says:  This is exactly where most of my Church is even today.  They think that this life is about their peace and their happiness.  They have allowed the counterfeit peace to stop them from working on My Kingdom.

Am I not coming soon?  Do I not expect the Bride to be preparing herself?

Instead, the enemy has held My Church captive by assuming that the goal of this life was about their Dream House – they have forgotten the price I told them they would have to pay to be my disciples.

They are blinded by an angel of light.  They are blinded by their own ambitions.  They are worshiping at a counterfeit holy of holies.

If you are going to be my disciples – you must pick up your cross and follow Me.  You must be more focused on My Kingdom than you are on your own.

My House is a ruin, while the Church is playing pattycake.

The devil is devouring lives while the Church is arguing about worship styles.
 Not many are prepared for what is coming!”

I see the Lord at the edge of a freshly asphalted highway.  It drops off suddenly and a volcano has sprung up in the middle of the road.  You can’t go around it.  You can’t go over it.  It hasn’t blown yet, but it is rumbling.

I hear Him saying, “My people aren’t prepared.  They’ve been busy building their own houses – but not buildling Mine.  If they would have followed Me and prepared themselves like I told them to they would be a supernatural net that would catch many fish in the turmoil…but My Church is unprepared.  So people will perish and fear will grip many, including many in My Church.

I have given them time to repent and seek Me, but they have been mesmerized by their own lives. They are unaware of just how unprepared they are.

But I will not hold back the volcano any longer.  Ready or not --  here it comes.  For those who have prepared themselves and My House, they will bring in a large harvest.  For those who have not heeded the call to get ready, they will gnash their teeth because of their folly.

It’s unavoidable.

But I will use it to wake people out of their slumber.  I will use it as an ‘in your face’ trumpet call. It’s severe mercy to your nation.

It’s time to stop working on your own houses and begin to work on Mine!” says the Lord.

(I do not know whether the volcano I saw in my vision is literal or figurative – but it doesn’t matter.  A volcano is about to explode in our nation – and the Church is largely unprepared for either one.)

Prayer of Repentance:

God please forgive us for not working on Your house and focusing on our own.  Please have mercy on Your Church.  We pray for a spirit of repentance to sweep over us.  We ask for supernatural deliverance.  Grant us humility that we might hit our knees in a way that changes our lives forever!  May Your Kingdom come and Your will be done – we surrender our lives into Your hands.  We ask for a great harvest in the midst of the turmoil.  In Jesus Name, AMEN

Monday, August 21, 2017

Prophecy: Asking God for the Nation of Hollywood

“If you’re going to be a prophet to a culture, you’ve got to at least be in the room!”  - Bishop Harry Jackson

I heard an enlightening TV interview of Bishop Harry Jackson this past week regarding President Trump. Bishop Jackson is on the President’s religious advisory council. Anderson Cooper questioned him for why he was still there (inferring President Trump’s support for white supremacists).  Just like Daniel in Daniel 2:14 - Bishop Jackson responded with great wisdom and tact.  He said to Mr. Cooper, “If you’re going to be a prophet to a culture, you’ve got to at least be in the room!”

 It was such a brilliant response from Bishop Jackson because what Mr. Cooper really wanted him to do was to abandon Donald Trump. (Watch the clip by clicking HERE.)

But hating Donald Trump (or Barack Obama) gets us nowhere. Helping leaders of a nation by being present in the room and advising him with godly counsel or is the wise step to take.  Hate and offense do nothing to help shape this nation.

As Believers, we should be the first to understand that it is love and patience and kindness that help us speak to the culture. It is by being deeply patient and not being offended that we react to the culture like Christ did. The Church cannot help to influence our country if we are so offended that we abandon our Commander-in-Chief (no matter what side of the aisle they are from).

The same is true of Hollywood. The church is so offended at some of the evil and filth coming out of Hollywood that we have abandoned the Arts and Entertainment part of our culture. There are very few prophets in Hollywood. (Kudos to the Hollywood Prophets who remain strong!) The church has abandoned Hollywood and has left it to the wolves.

Presently, there are no redeemers, there are no restorers, and no deliverers on the Hollywood mountain.  If anyone does try to speak to the culture with kindness and hope, the religious spirit in the Church rises up to condemn and tear down because we can’t see past our offense at their sin.

When Mel Gibson fell in his sin, after giving the Church the movie The Passion of the Christ, the Church abandoned him.  We were offended by his drunkenness and anti-semitic statements.  What we should have done is reached out to him and helped restore him – not walk away in disgust.  Mel Gibson broke open the way for God’s Kingdom in Hollywood – we should be begging God to restore this prophet to the Arts and Entertainment mountain!

We have been so afraid of messy sin that we walked the other way. This is not what Jesus did at all!  He ran towards the hurting and the sinful. It was the proud that he resisted the self-righteous Pharisees that he rebuked. The Church has treated Hollywood as though they are lepers when what they actually are …is hurting and broken sinners.

There are so many people in Hollywood, actors, directors, camera people, stuntman, crew workers, who are precious to the Lord. They are called to an important part of our culture.  But the Church is afraid of the messiness of their sin, that they refuse to send “missionaries” to them.

We must admit that our culture is just as much affected by what happens in Hollywood as it is with what happens in Washington DC. I believe that Jesus is preparing the missionaries to take this mountain to begin to prophesy to the culture. Just like Bishop Jackson said you can't influence the culture without being in the room.  We cannot influence Hollywood if we don't have people on the mountain.

It is time to stop hating Hollywood! We must begin to pray for this part of our culture to turn to the Lord with all of their hearts.  They are not beyond redemption. They are not beyond the hand of the Lord. His blood was spilled for them as well.

God is the Great Storyteller, and he wants to use Hollywood in these last days to bring in a great harvest!

This is a prophetic word that God gave me regarding Hollywood recently.  Open your hearts to what God wants to do.  Let the Holy Spirit convict you if you are guilty of condemnation.  Hollywood was God’s idea!

In Psalm 2:8 the Lord instructs us to ask for the nations for our inheritance.  I am asking God for the "nation" of Hollywood for my inheritance!  Are you willing to boldly believe that Hollywood could become Holy?

For the Lord would say, “Hollywood, how often I have longed to gather you in my arms! As a Good Father, I long to hold you and comfort you in your pain. I long to set you free from the prison matrixes that the enemy has kept you captive in.”
“I loved telling stories to the people when I walked the earth. I loved capturing their hearts and minds as I told them stories to help them in their journey. Hollywood, you are in My heart,” says the Lord. “I planned you from the beginning. You will tell My story. You will glorify Me in these last days. You will ultimately be a scepter in My hand, and I will use you to beat back your enemy and the enemy of My kingdom. I Am fashioning you as a scepter in My hand.”
“But now, you need My comfort. You have been beaten and accused, oppressed and taken advantage of by those who have lusted for power and greed. Many, many young people in Hollywood have been at the mercy of those who control the puppet strings. But I have not forgotten you!” says the Lord. “I will bring you justice. I will dethrone the Pharaohs of Hollywood. I call out to the broken in Hollywood. I call out to the weary. I call out to those who have been traumatized by the Hollywood Pharaohs. Come unto Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart. I desire mercy, not judgment. Let me heal your hearts,” declares the Lord. “Let me heal your souls and deliver you from the torment of your pain.”
“You have been experiencing the pain of being neglected by your earthly ‘fathers.’ But I have not left you orphaned. I Am here!” says the Almighty. “My arms are open to you Hollywood. I'm going to give you justice. Hollywood is MINE!" says the Lord. "For I Am the Great Storyteller. The greatest part of the story is just ahead. I intend to use Hollywood to bring in a great harvest. But first, let me heal your hearts! Let My comfort bring up the valleys in your souls and then I will bring down the mountains! Consecrate yourselves for tomorrow I will do amazing things among you!” says the Lord.

Monday, August 14, 2017

The Ugly Side of the Evangelical Church

I am guilty of everything I’m about to write.

I have participated in each and every ugly bullet point below.  And I repent for it.  I was wrong.  I was selfish. I followed Paul and Apollos instead of Jesus.

The following article is not an attempt to shame anyone.  I forgive every person in the Evangelical Church who has hurt me.  This article is a call for repentance.  I am attempting to hold a mirror up to the evangelical church and asking if they like what they see.

I am going to use coarse language to describe my sin.  The Bible uses coarse language to describe Israel’s sin.  But if coarse language offends you – you should stop reading now.

I know that many people have been hurt by the Evangelical Church – personally, I have been hurt and I have also been the one who caused damage.  I am sorry for those I have misled and I ask for God’s great mercy to heal anyone I wounded.

I have attended a total of seven Evangelical Churches in my 44 years.  At different times, I was a Director of Worship, Bible Study Leader, Youth Leader, Prayer Ministry Leader, and Women’s Ministry Leader. I am still an Evangelical.  I hold fast to the Word of God.  It is my foundation.  I also believe in all of the gifts of the spirit.  I am, what I would call, a Charismatic Baptist. 

My husband has helped me greatly in understanding my calling and has fully supported me throughout our 24-year marriage.  When I refer to “husbands” below – I am not referring to him personally.

I don’t always write heavy pieces – I mostly just want to help people become whole from their emotional trauma.  But it is the TRUTH that sets people free.  So the band aid must be ripped off and the veil pulled back - everything in the dark must be exposed to the light.  I am blowing the shofar (the trumpet) concerning the ugly practices of a good portion of the American Evangelical Church. 



I was a whore.

I was a spiritual whore in several of my Evangelical Churches.

It’s what I was trained to be.  I was a woman who was not truly allowed to have power. My job as a church whore was to allow the men in my life to use my giftings, revelations, and talents to make them look good.  I was expected to have a man approve all of my decisions.  In my home, in my workplace, and in the church, if I did not have the OK from a man - the church considered me “out of order.”  I was trained by the church to believe that a man was always required to have the final say in my life in order for me to be one with Jesus.

So, to have any source of significance in the church, I was forced to be a whore – “one who sells themselves.”

I sold myself and my giftings to the church for acceptance.  My worship leading, my teaching gift, my administration gift – all of it.  I sold it to the men in my Evangelical Churches and took no credit at all.  I thought it was my duty to let them use me.  I just wanted to be holy.

I grew up being told that a woman’s place was to submit to men.  So then – when it came to my giftings I was forced to use them for men’s glory.  In the home – the church said I had to let my husband shine brighter than me.  So when we would go to be with church people, I would beg him not to be an introvert, because I would take the heat for it. 

In the church – I had to let men, in general, shine brighter.  On several occasions, pastors stole my revelations (new understandings from the Bible) for their own sermons.  As the Director of Worship, I would sometimes completely produce an entire Sunday morning with two services all by myself. Behind the scenes – I was the one who made the church look good.  But I would never take credit – nor be given credit for all of my hard work.  I believed the lie that I was supposed to give away everything for free so that the pastor could take the stage and he could shine with his gifting.

I look back now and see how differently I felt when I was working outside the church because the world mostly sees men and women as equals.  There wasn’t the pressure to perform to make my boss look good.  I was given credit when I achieved something or created something good.  But the pressure to stay home with my kids was another way to demand that I conform to the Evangelical Hive Mind.

I wanted desperately to please the Hive Mind (read more here). I wanted to belong.  But to belong I had to play the role of whore:  Make the men in my life look good.  Make men feel good about themselves.  Sacrifice my self-respect.  Don’t make waves.  Just perform.  

In some kind of twisted way, I believed that “performing” for my pastors and elders in my church gave me some sort of power.  Somehow –  if I “performed” well enough they would see my worth and give me credit for my maturity and wisdom.  But it didn’t.  It just inclined them to use me more…

And so… I became a Madam.


A Madam is one who keeps the other whores in line.  She’s the one in charge of the whorehouse. Did you know that most Evangelical Churches who are “complementarian” have a Spiritual Madam?

It’s a necessary position.

I would correct women who weren’t letting their men shine brighter than they were.  I would reprimand women who weren’t taking a secondary role in the marriage.  I would warn the pastors about women who were “usurping” authority.  

In essence, I was the one insisting that women allow men to be their Masters.

In the complementarian Evangelical Church, if the men are not the Masters over women then they have no “man-hood.”  It is a stain on their masculinity if they are married to a strong willed, gifted woman.  We are directed to serve THEIR calling while ignoring our own.  We are controlled by contrived gender roles.

One time I had a Church Madam come to me and tell me that the Lord wanted me to submit my personality to my husband.  She said that if I would just tone it down a little that it would help my marriage.  So I was not free to be who God intended for me to be, I wasn’t allowed to have the outgoing, fun loving personality God gave me – My husband and I were expected to manipulate our marriage so that we fit into the cookie cutter that was set forth for us by the Church.

There is a lie STILL perpetuated after all of these years that there is something inherently wrong with a woman and she cannot truly lead.

Because – you know what happened in the Garden of Eden don’t you?  It was “That woman’s” fault. (Genesis 3:12)  The perpetual lie is that we are still under the curse from the garden.  So women shall continually have men “ruling” over them… and if men are not ruling and women submitting, then we are not truly one with Jesus.  Never mind that Ephesians 5:21 comes before Ephesians 5:22.  As a Madam, it is important to ALWAYS start in verse 22.

The problem with this thinking is - that if the curse of gender roles from Genesis 3 is still in effect then the blood of Jesus was not enough to roll back the curse completely.

Somehow part of the Evangelical Church believes that the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus was enough to roll back the curse of death – but not gender roles.

If we believe the lie that men must still rule over women – then a Church Madam is necessary to force the women to comply.

The Good Old Boys Club

The Good Old Boys Club in the Evangelical Church is the one that gets together behind closed doors …and decides.

They decide everything.

I hate to tell you this but most of them don’t seek the Lord.  They are putting their own plan in motion.  Because as far as they are concerned – they are the leaders the Lord has appointed so whatever is in their minds must be from God.

Sometimes it’s the Elder Board who makes up this club and sometimes it’s not.  Sometimes it’s just a few who have the Pastor’s ear.  They have invisible puppet strings attached to the pastor and they use him for their own purposes. 

When the pastor is a peacekeeper – He is never the true leader of the church – the Good Old Boys Club is the one in charge. 

Sometimes the pastor is the leader of the Good Old Boys Club.  When a pastor is overly insecure in his masculinity having this Club makes him feel like a man’s man.  As a woman in church leadership, I let this Club take advantage of me – because I thought it was the righteous thing to do.  I had no idea at the time, that I was being a whore.  I let the Good Old Boys Club use my gifts, talents, and influence to keep their positions as the Masters of the Church.

I will tell you a sad story that illustrates the Good Old Boys Club:   After I came out of my deception of being a Madam, I was part of a church in which it came to my attention that one of the pastors was asking the women he counseled if their sex life with their husband was satisfying.  The women didn’t feel like they could evade the question so they answered and the pastor proceeded to give them pointers on how to make it better.  He told them sexual positions to try and lingerie to buy and even websites to look at… all of this without their husband’s knowledge.

I approached the leadership of this church with proof and three witnesses about what this man was doing in his private meetings with women and nothing happened to this man at all.  He still retains his position.  He was not corrected nor reprimanded. He never asked for forgiveness from anyone.  This is because the Good Old Boys Club protected him.  They cared more for the reputation of this pastor than the women whose marriage beds had been violated.

I have witnessed a few Evangelical Churches where there was no Good Old Boys Club – but it was only because the pastor was humble enough to obey the Word and strong enough to disobey the Club.  Sometimes he survived – other times the Holy Huddle crucified him because he dared to rock the boat.

Holy Huddles

In many Evangelical Churches, peace is to be valued above all things.  It is the highest calling of the church to be at peace.  We believe the lie that if we are not at peace then we are not one with the Lord.  Because Jesus is peace.  Therefore, be quiet.  Do not disagree.  Do not point out flaws.  And especially do not point out sin.  If you point out sin – you will be ostracized and labeled a troublemaker.

I used to be a keeper of the peace.

I would tell people “Don’t rock the boat.  Be quiet about your complaint – it’s actually your issue.  Don’t judge. You’re being critical.  Have you really prayed enough for that person?  You are causing dissension…”

I really wasn’t keeping the peace.  I was forcing everyone to sweep their issues under the rug and be quiet about it.

For the most part, the church doesn’t really value peace.  We value quiet.

We value having our Holy Huddles where everyone pretends everything is all right.  Because peace is put on a pedestal and worshipped, anyone who causes conflict and doesn’t pretend everything is alright is not tracking with the Hive Mind.  Anyone who doesn’t value peace (or the absence of conflict) is put out of the Holy Huddle.

Sometimes dissent is allowed.  Usually only once.  But after that – after you’ve presented your case to the elders – now you are just whining.  Doesn’t matter how much scripture you have to back up what you are saying…  dealing with the actual issue will cause the boat to rock.  And we must have peace – or we are not one with Jesus.

Peace – whether it is real or false – must be abided by at all times!

In many of the Evangelical Churches, you must serve the Holy Huddle – or move along.  Unless you have money, if you have money – we will adapt the Holy Huddle to you.

Money Prostitutes

I wish this weren’t true, but it is.  I wish I had not participated, but I have…

Here are the bullet points of being a money prostitute in the church.

The “givers” in the church must be tended to.  Give them special treatment.  Take their phone calls.  Answer their questions. Give them leadership responsibilities.  Name parts of the building after them.

The Church service must not only please the givers it must also reach the young people.  There are rules and regulations about worship.  If they are not abided by, people will withhold their money.  So we listen carefully to the comment cards of those who give more money.

One time at an Evangelical Church I attended, I had taken steps to start a 7 days a week Prayer Ministry.  The pastor had been very supportive, it was growing and people were coming to prayer meetings we would have every single day at the church.  I was excited to actually make some headway into ministry and be able to fill a hole that was sorely needed at this church.  Until one day, I spoke from the platform about something God had laid on my heart in prayer and I offended the Church Madam whose family gave a great deal of money.  She complained to the pastor and I was brought in to his office – not to make peace with her, nor even to face her.  The pastor brought me in and gave me an ultimatum to face Church discipline or to step down from ministry.  I knew I had done nothing wrong and that this pastor was bowing to money.  So I stepped down.

Jealousy and greed are ugly.

Most Evangelical Churches are struggling for money.  So when we cannot raise enough money within the church to do what we would like to do, then we look to the world and use Babylon’s methods like grants and fundraisers to find enough money to keep our Church dream alive.

Because addressing why people aren’t truly tithing would cause waves – and we must have peace above all things.  Addressing why there is a financial famine from the God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills might cause us to have to address our own sin.

So we manipulate and find the money to at least give the perception that we have a “Picture Perfect Church.”  Money helps us to keep our veils in place.


The Evangelical Church believes that the church needs to appeal to the consumers in the community.  Instead of actually being the church, where we REACH OUT and clothe the poor and feed the hungry and offer mercy, we focus on what kind of veils will attract the community to our church.  When you are caught up in the consumerism of church, it is hard to see the truth beyond the veil that God doesn’t consider His Church to be made with bricks and mortar.  He considers His Church to be made with people.

There are several kinds of veils to keep people interested and oblivious to what is actually happening behind the scenes.

There are veils of “niceness.”

We don’t really speak the truth to one another – that would upset the delicate balance of peace. Conflict means that we are not one with Jesus.

So we’re nice.

We either ignore complainers.  Or tell them that they are completely right – but we never change the thing they bring forth.

We placate.  We may wine and dine the complainers for a moment – hoping they’ll be quiet.  We do it in the name of love.  But really we’re doing it so they’ll fall in line.  We’re doing it to placate our own soul.

And then…whether or not the dissenters listen, we have been nice.

We want to be one with Jesus and Jesus would have been nice.

There are veils of “worship.”

Take it from me, as a former Director of Worship…if we can pull of a killer worship service, people will overlook a lot.  If we dress it up and make it sound semi-professional, if we make people feel a little bit lighter because of the worship service, they are willing to look past some of the more unsavory things happening just to get their weekly dose of peace.

This is similar to David singing and worshiping before King Saul.  It brought him a little peace from his torment.  He would get a little relief from his demon but never truly repent.  In a way, this is what a worship veil does.  We give the people a little relief from their torment – but never truly pull back the veil of the cause of their torment, which is sin.

We also used to do a huge Easter production every year and the whole church would be filled with Believers, being blessed by the story they already knew.  When we shifted it to an outreach type of program, no one came.  No one brought anyone.  We were a consumer church with the wrong priorities.

There are veils of “outward appearance.”

Going to a church with a really nice building appeals to the consumerism of the world – so we build really nice facilities to cover up any flaws in the internal structure of the church.

We offer the latest and greatest programs, which again, appeal to the consumers who are looking for a church – but offering them a beautiful building and dynamic programs instead of Jesus causes people to worship their own comfort and peace. 

The veil of outward appearance leaves us with a shallow church who does not truly know the Man they claim to be serving.

In a way, this veil allows the people to accept Jesus, without turning away from the world.  But the truth is –  you can’t have the Kingdom of Heaven without repenting.

Calling people to repent of their sin rocks the boat and disturbs the peace of the status quo – and the Evangelical Church is all about their (false) peace.

Sin is messy.  It takes courage to call people on their sin – especially in this day and age when you will be called judgmental or unloving.  But Jesus called people on their sin ALL. THE. TIME!

When I was a whore to the Evangelical Church, I was more concerned with the appearance of the church than I was with the hearts of people.  I did not want the world to hate us.  I wanted them to want Jesus and think He was cool.  So I helped to create veils that would make Christianity inviting.
I did not preach Christ, nor the truth that accepting Him includes forsaking the world.

When I was a whore, I pretended to play church but I really didn't build His Church. I built a comfortable "paneled house" but His true Church was left in ruins. This is why there is a drought in the American Evangelical Church.  We are guilty of the same sin of the Israelites after they returned from exile.  We're building ourselves a house - but not Him.

2 This is what the Lord Almighty says: “These people say, ‘The time has not yet come to rebuild the Lord’s house.’”

3 Then the word of the Lord came through the prophet Haggai: 4 “Is it a time for you yourselves to be living in your paneled houses, while this house remains a ruin?”
5 Now this is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. 6 You have planted much, but harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.”

7 This is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. 8 Go up into the mountains and bring down timber and build my house, so that I may take pleasure in it and be honored,” says the Lord. 9 “You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?” declares the Lord Almighty. “Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with your own house. 10 Therefore, because of you the heavens have withheld their dew and the earth its crops. 11 I called for a drought on the fields and the mountains, on the grain, the new wine, the olive oil and everything else the ground produces, on people and livestock, and on all the labor of your hands.”  (Haggai 1:2-11)


I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for playing my part in all of these ugly things.  I’m sorry for insisting on false peace.  I’m sorry for insisting on cookie cutter Christianity.  I’m sorry for being a whore to the Evangelical Churches who had a Hive Mind instead of the mind of Christ.

Women should be completely equal to men.  If they are not – then the fullness of the cross will never be realized.  Jesus paid the price for ALL sin, including Eve’s.  In doing so, the cross wiped out the curse from the Garden of Eden. There is no male or female in Christ.  Women are not second class citizens.  We carry half of the image of Christ – without women in leadership, the Church does not really have the whole picture.

When Paul said women should be silent – he was speaking to a specific group of women who had gotten rowdy.  Jesus told women to speak up – specifically, He told Mary Magdalene to go and tell his male disciples that He had risen.   A woman was the first preacher of the gospel.  So, obviously, Paul did not mean ALL women should be silent and “not be permitted to teach men.”  Jesus told a woman to go and “teach” a new revelation to His disciples.

When the Evangelical Church separates men and women like this they become guilty of spiritual homosexuality.  Spiritual homosexuality happens when only men are allowed to “birth” things in the church.  Only men are allowed to make decisions.  Only men are allowed to do the teaching.  Having only men in Church leadership means that there is only one gender that is allowed to “spiritually parent” the Church.

There are hearts in the Church who are crying out for true mothers.  Not whores, but Spiritual Mothers who have authority to comfort and correct and teach and nurture.  There is a GREAT need in the Body of Christ for the comfort that only Spiritual Mothers can bring.  The only roles that were given to the genders in the Garden of Eden were that of a Father and a Mother.  Both are necessary to create life.  Both are necessary to raise healthy children.  Right now – most of the Evangelical Church is only allowed to have Spiritual Fathers.  True Spiritual Mothers aren’t kept behind their husband as though they are invisible.  True Spiritual Mothers work alongside the Spiritual Fathers and have equal say over the raising of the children.

God’s original intention and Christ’s subsequent redemption was that men and women would be one flesh and rule over the earth together.

God needs us to become one.  We need both male and female to spiritually birth things.  This is not achieved by females becoming invisible so that males can lead.  We need each other.

Once, God used me to correct a young man from his sin and then him free in a miraculous way at an Evangelical Church.  It was truly an amazing thing to witness God’s presence as He led me in using my gift of discernment and my tools of deliverance to set him free from his sin.  But after the amazing awe-filled evening, I was told that I couldn’t take any credit for what happened.  I was told, “God did it… not you.”

I was stunned for a moment that this elder was not even going to give me any credit for what he had just witnessed.  I had taken great risk to call out this young man’s sin.  I had used a gifting that came from God but that I spent years developing my character to use.  I had also trained myself to use tools of deliverance.  Yes, God did it – but He was able to use me because I was mature enough to use them.

I was a Spiritual Mother to this young man because I cared for his destiny more than I cared to upset his sense of peace.  But the elder can’t afford to give a woman credit for setting this man free.  It would upset the apple cart of the spiritual homosexuality that he and the Good Old Boys have so carefully preserved.  I was a better elder to this young man than the male elders had been.  They knew he was sinning and no one was willing to cause conflict in order to set him free.

I know it’s ugly.

But it must be dealt with.  I am sorry for my part in oppressing women in the Evangelical Church. I’m sorry for promoting spiritual homosexuality.  I’m sorry for manipulating people for their money. I’m sorry for creating a Holy Huddle of self-righteousness.  And I am sorry for covering all of it with a veil of “niceness.”   I hope that through this confession that some will see behind the veil and repent.

There is nothing in this life that I take more seriously than Judgement Day.  When I stand before the Lord and bow my knee, I want to hear “Well done, good and faithful one!”

It is for this purpose – wanting my brothers and sisters in the Evangelical Church to hear “Well done!” – that I dare to rock the boat.

Are you willing to give up your false peace in order to take a long, hard look into this mirror?

As a woman in the Evangelical Church, I want to be united with men.  I want to be of one heart and one mind.  I don’t want to be “over” men – I want to rule alongside men, the way the Lord intended.  

I want to be Mary Magdalene who comes and tells you a new revelation that God has given me.  But if you ignore me the way the disciples did Mary… if you steal my revelation from God and claim it for your own… if I’m invisible and you think that women should be silent and only here for the lifting up of men – you relegate me to being a whore.

And I refuse to be one anymore.

Thursday, August 3, 2017

It's Time to Burn the Barbie Dream House

I've had one.

You've had one.

We all have built up a Barbie Dream House in our minds about what our lives should look like.

They are all a little different and yet somehow they are all the same. They are the the little picture perfect life that we want our lives to resemble.

We spend our time, money, and energy trying to achieve our Barbie Dream Houses. We believe that if we could just achieve it - we would have peace.

But it's a lie.

As Believers in Jesus Christ, our peace must come from Him alone.

If we gain peace because we have achieved a perceived circumstance in our lives, it is actually a false peace. And the Barbie Dream House has become an idol.

We cannot find our identity in our Barbie Dream Houses. We find our identity in Christ.
God will never allow us to be at peace apart from Him. He is the peace-giver...not some set of perfect circumstances.

Picking up our cross and following Him requires that we lay down our fleshly dreams and pick up His. We have better and lasting possessions in Heaven.

As Believers, we live for the reward we will receive in heaven, not the temporal one here on earth.

Burning down the expectations of your Barbie Dream House will be the greatest freedom you have ever known!

Let all of your kingdoms fall and surrender it all! Pick up your cross and follow Him...

He's got a better plan for you anyway!

Monday, July 31, 2017

A Key to Persevering Through a Life Storm

The storms of life come to all of us.  Not one of us escapes the sudden thunder and lightning and torrents of rain as we navigate through a fallen world.

Some storms last longer than others.  Some storms are more violent than others.  Some of them are not our fault - some of them are.

As Believers in Jesus, sometimes we can speak to the storm and it will become calm - but if the storm doesn't cease - then we must persevere through it.

Twenty-four-hour storms can be just as difficult as two-year storms.  Depending on our maturity and our emotional state when the storms hit.

However, no matter where you are on the path of life, no matter how long your storm is - there is one key that is true for all Believers in the midst of life's storms.

We are called to PERSEVERE!  We are called to NOT GIVE UP!

This is exactly the enemy's goal - to get us to quit.

So this is a key I have learned to never quit:

When the FEELING of wanting to give up overwhelms you, instead of giving into it - make yourself a goal to reach.

Say to yourself, "I choose not to quit and trust God.  I can make it until tomorrow morning!"

Then when tomorrow morning comes make another goal.  "I choose not to quit and trust God!  I can make it until lunch time."

Then when you reach lunch time make another goal.  "I choose not to quit and trust God!  I can make it to the weekend!"

When you reach the weekend make another goal.  "I choose not to quit and trust God!  I can make it until next weekend!"

What happens is that the storms of life DO end!  There IS light at the end of the tunnel.  Darkness may last for the night but JOY comes in the morning... IF WE DO NOT GIVE UP!

Persevere - by making small goals for yourself.  Pretty soon the storms of life don't cause as much fear because you have already conquered one.  You have gained knowledge about how to overcome a storm.  They don't seem quite as overwhelming.

We actually become mature as we face the storms and refuse to give up!

James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

God will turn everything for your good...only DO NOT QUIT!

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

It's Time to Walk Away


It's time to walk away from toxic relationships.  It's time to value yourself enough to go where God is calling you even if it requires the breaking off of relationships.  

If we stay too long trying to get someone to love us or appreciate us we risk getting off of the "Path of Life."

As Believers, it is not our goal to have peace in all of our relationships. Our goal is to walk with the One who we have pledged our lives to.  This requires that we recognize when a relationship is holding us back... and are willing to go with God, no matter what we lose on the journey.

Today the Lord is asking you, "Will you walk away from trying to get people to love you and go where I am taking you?"

Your journey is the one you will receive a reward for on Judgment Day.  On that day, God will judge you on how well you loved.  But we are called to love Him first.  We are called to walk with Him first.

We cannot love people more than we love Him.  Seek first His Kingdom, His righteous, His opinion, His desires for our lives and everything will fall into place.

Walk away from whatever toxic thing He's asking you to... moving forward in your journey depends on it.

"We must obey God and not men." Acts 5:29

Thursday, July 6, 2017

Prophecy: "Misfits" are rising up in the Kingdom of God!


I am calling all "misfits" to My throne, for now is the day of the "misfits."

Those of you who have been discarded by society because you didn't fit into their paradigm.  Those of you who think a little outside of the box and have been shunned as weird or odd.  Those of you who can never seem to fit inside the cookie cutter that the Pharisees have demanded you conform to, I am calling you to Myself.

I never demanded that anyone fit inside a preformed mold.  I created each and every soul differently... and I like it that way!

You are not misfits-you are Mine!!

There is a place for you inside My heart.  Right in the center! There is a plan that I have for those that the world deems misfits.  My plan is to take you and turn the world upside down. My plan is to use My misfits and set My people on fire! My plan is to use those the world and the church have discarded for My glory!

If you have been labeled a misfit - rejoice for that is exactly what I was!  I did not fit in.  I did not conform. I didn't care what anyone thought of me, I only cared what My Heavenly Father thought!

Do you remember that I used a host of "misfits" to plant My Kingdom?

Remember the parable of Rudolph and the Misfit Toys?  They all ended up saving the day.

There is going to be a day when those who have discarded you will have great need of you.  Keep your heart right with Me. Forgive those who rejected you and refused you... they did the same with Me.

Keep your eyes and your mind focused on Me!  The best is yet to come!

I Am Your Creator and I made you perfectly!

Come and listen to My thoughts about who you are.  Get yourself ready!

Dwell in the perfect love of My heart. This is where you belong!!!

Monday, June 26, 2017

Is False Submission Stealing Your Calling?

Jesus continually did one thing that enraged the Church leaders of his time:  He refused to submit to their authority.  He lived his life on earth under His Father’s authority – not the authority of man.  If Jesus had submitted himself to the Sanhedrin and the High Priest, He would have never finished His calling.

They told Him not to heal on the Sabbath.  They questioned where His authority came from.  They tried to belittle Him and spread falsehoods about Jesus because Jesus was stealing their presumed power.  The leaders of the Church of Jesus’ day liked their positions.  They found their identity in their positions – and it caused them to have a spirit of control over their sheep.

They walked in false authority.

Jesus put His heavenly Father’s wishes above the oligarchy of the leaders and Sanhedrin.  He would have been disobedient to obey the “restrictions” that the Church put on Him.  The leaders of the Church in Jesus’ day had a carefully designed Matrix of control in which they used manipulation and legalism to keep the sheep in line.

Now Jesus didn’t completely disrespect the religion of His youth.  He did obey the customs and some of the expectations of the Church leaders – but not when it came to fulfilling His calling.  Jesus commonly practiced civil disobedience against these religious leaders.

He sought His Father’s will first and then obeyed it.  He did not let man keep Him from obeying His Father – even to the point of dying on the cross.

Of course, we are to obey our leaders as it says in Romans 12.  But in the same way that Jesus did, we are practice civil disobedience against our Church leaders when they try to supersede the will of God in our lives.

As Believers, if we know that we know God has called us to do something, and we allow an earthly person or leader to talk us out of it – we have submitted to false authority.

We must always allow God’s will and His commands to have first place in our lives… even if it goes against our Church leaders.  God will hold us accountable if we obey man instead of Him.

The disciples disobeyed Church leadership because the Lord had instructed them to share the Word of God.

Acts 5: 27 - 30 The apostles were brought in and made to appear before the Sanhedrin to be questioned by the high priest. “We gave you strict orders not to teach in this name,” he said. “Yet you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and are determined to make us guilty of this man’s blood.”   Peter and the other apostles replied: “We must obey God rather than human beings!”

Now, any of you who have followed me for any amount of time know my feelings about the Patriarch System that looms over the Church.  According to many Church leaders, there are a litany of things that women are not allowed to do.

But I still remember the day God called me to preach.  I still remember the Lord telling me I would have to cling tightly to Him because the men at my church were not going to be happy about it.  Nevertheless, I would still need to obey Him.  And that’s what I did.

It was hard to obey the Lord and not men when it came to my calling.  It was hard to push back against false submission and be called names and be called a Jezebel all because God gave me a gifting that men “presumed” belonged only to them.

Nevertheless, I have obeyed Him.  And it has been so worth it.  I have lost friends, and jobs, and church families because I have been unwilling to follow the legalistic rules of the Patriarchy Oligarch.

But if I bend my knee and bow to false submission, I am worshiping an idol.  If I obey the rules that men lay down for me, instead of obeying the Lord – I hand the fate of my calling over to them.

If I choose to listen to men and lay down my calling because men told me to, I would have no answer to give to the Lord on Judgment Day.   “My Church leaders wouldn’t let me,” will not be a sufficient excuse.  I will be the one held accountable for not fulfilling my calling. 

Maybe your calling isn’t in ministry, maybe it is elsewhere, but there is a temptation to not follow through because it would “seem” unsubmissive.  Please hear me, whatever God has called you to, do not bow your knee to the Spirit of False submission. You must obey God and not men.

Jesus showed us how to respectfully disobey the Oligarchy.  If God is telling you to do something, and men are trying to keep you from obeying – DO IT ANYWAY! 

...even if they end up crucifying you for it.