Thursday, June 7, 2018


I mean for this post to bring wisdom and unity to all of us. My words, though they are written in black and white, are full of love and gentleness! I will ask you to read the entire post in order to see my entire point... 😀
While in college, I had to attend a multicultural weekend of activities in downtown Kansas City as part of my grade.
I was traveling to an inner city food bank but got lost along the way. The part of town that I got lost in was 0% white. It was a rough neighborhood and I was 21, dressed in my middle class outfit, with my middle class car. I was very much a minority.
We didn’t have cell phones or GPS back then so I did what we all did in the early 90s — I stopped at a gas station for directions.
When I walked into the gas station there were about ten older black men talking in a circle as I walked in the front door. Remember this was the inner city. I immediately got looks of surprise and it was clear that I was out of place and unwelcome on top of that.
However, there was a brave gentleman from the group who walked toward me assuming I was lost and asked if he could help. He was kind but not warm. And he got me on my way and the tense moment for all of us was quickly over with.
I tell this story because I want to talk about PRIVILEGE. We’ve been hearing a lot about White Privilege and I want to make a few points from a higher perspective.
There IS such a thing as white privilege. When whites are the majority in a certain area they essentially get preferential treatment. Most of the people I know, do not intend to favor their own skin color. But let’s be honest majority usually rules... even if it is unintentional.
There is also black privilege. In the inner city gas station I walked into, blacks got preferential treatment. Even though I was unwelcome, there was still a brave soul that helped me on my way. One of my friends attended a conference at a black church and she was told she couldn’t have a specific seat because she wasn’t black. She certainly forgave this woman and I know that some people in that woman’s church would have been horrified to hear the exclusion statement from their own member. But this woman was using privilege for her own skin color.
There are other places in the country where other kinds of people are privileged as well.
In Hollywood and the Media there is a liberal privilege. If there is a choice between giving a job to a conservative or a liberal... the liberal person is going to get the job.
In the conservative Evangelical Church there is male privilege. For many years, men have gotten preferential treatment in the Evangelical Church as seen in Beth Moore’s latest expose.
In the New Testament, the Jews had privilege and the Gentiles did not. The Romans had privilege and the Jews did not.
Do you see my point?
Privilege is everywhere. It happens when the only thing we see are our own people groups. It’s good to pull back the curtain in love and firmness and to make inadequacies known about inequality.
HOWEVER, as children of God, we are never victims of people group privilege. We should never find ourselves bitter at “privilege” because earthly people don’t get to decide how high we fly or how important we are!
I have seen God look right past a person’s gender and color and make a way where there seemed to be no way.
There are no glass ceilings in God’s Kingdom. Especially for His children!!
Whatever color or gender God made you... don’t let the conversation around “privilege” make you feel like a victim and hold you back from believing!!! God has a plan for you that no one can hinder!
God is no respecter of persons!
At the same time, let us, as the Body of Christ, be more like Him. Let’s open our eyes and our hearts to what God might want to show us regarding privilege.
In Christ, there is no male or female, no Greek or Jew. There is no white or black. There is no political identity. If we are Believers, let us lead the way by not giving preferential treatment to anyone.
Mark 12:14
“Teacher," they said, "we know how honest you are. You are impartial and don't play favorites. You teach the way of God truthfully...”
Father make us more like Jesus!!!

Monday, June 4, 2018

How to Break the Hold of a Narcissist

All narcissists are swindlers.They swindle you out of money, time, energy, and intelligence through a false relationship. They take all of these things from you in order to build their own kingdom.

When you finally tell narcissists "NO!" they point the finger at you and complain that you aren't very loving or they call you rebellious.

But the truth remains - having a relationship with a narcissist and never telling them no will cost you almost everything.

As a Believer, you are not called to build anyone else's kingdom... not even your own.

We are called to build an everlasting Kingdom by bringing heaven to earth. You were born to build a Kingdom that is not of this world.

Be careful that you are not wasting your life and your calling by serving a Narcissist's kingdom.

Six signs of narcissism:
1. They don't listen well to others.
2. They know more. They know better. They are superior.
3. The rules don't apply to them.
4. Can dish out criticism, but can't take it.
5. It's never their fault. It's always yours.
6. They believe others exist to meet their own needs.

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it's time to break their hold on you! Use this BREAKING UNGODLY SOUL TIE tool...( and stop their controlling influence...

God did not create you to build a kingdom for a narcissist. You are just as valuable to God as they are. Stop letting narcissists tell you what to do.

Love God first. Then love people. Keeping this correct order of love will protect you from wasting your life.

Wednesday, May 30, 2018


There is nothing quite as frustrating as being weighed on dishonest scales.
This occurs when someone decides your guilt based on their feelings instead of a set of moral absolutes.
One woman that I mentored left her church because she was greatly wronged by leadership. But everyone judged her as the wrong party instead of hearing her out - they blamed her and weighed her actions on dishonest scales. They did not know the truth of what happened. They made a decision about her actions based on how much they would lose by siding with her. They judged her based on their feelings - not seeking the Lord for His truth.
When Truth is not valued, there is no standard by which to weigh anything. If “truth” is measured according to our own opinions and emotions, there is no baseline in which justice can be administered.
Jesus knew that the woman caught in adultery was being weighed on dishonest scales. The man caught in adultery did not get the same treatment... it was only the woman. It may have even been a setup to catch Jesus - but He balanced the scales for all of them by essentially challenging them to judge their own actions by the same scales. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
There is a lack of honest scales in America. We weigh everything on our own opinions and emotions. It is quite disheartening because this is the very foundation of lawlessness.
If it's the truth that sets us free - then it is lawlessness that puts us in chains.
We must return to equal justice and equal mercy. No matter the race, gender, religion, or political bent the same scales must be used for all.
It begins with us, the Body of Christ. Let us take the plank out of our own eye first. Let us examine our own motives. Let us pray for honest scales and begin to measure situations based on God's truth and not our own opinions.
"The LORD detests dishonest scales, but accurate weights find favor with him." Proverbs 11:1

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Learning to Love Yourself

We are often taught at a very young age we are not good enough, or we are taught that we are strange and not “normal.”

We waste time in life trying to be good enough and wearing masks trying to prove we fit in.

One of the young ladies that I coach recently had to face the fact that she so desired to be “normal” that she found a matronly woman in the community who fit her definition of “normal.”  She put the matron on a pedestal and steered her life in the direction of this woman.

It caused her to walk down the wrong path as she matured in Christ.  Her tree was growing crooked because she was bending to this woman was instead of becoming who God created her to be.

She had to take this “normal” woman off her pedestal and repent for hating her own life.  The woman I coach was rejecting her own path because she wasn’t trusting that God had written a good story for her life.

Friends – no one on earth is the epitome of normal.  In fact, there is no normal on earth, because heaven should be our normal.

Instead of striving to be “normal,”  we should strive to be authentic.

We will be free from pressure and free from insecurity when we become ALL that God has created us to be.  We will never be happy pursuing someone else’s life.  This is a counterfeit path that requires us to pretend to be someone we’re not.  We spin our wheels and never become our authentic self because we are pursuing an inferior and human definition of “normal.”

God doesn’t use cookie cutters.  He uses a potter’s wheel when creating us.  You are unique and you are loved just the way you are.  Ask God to show you who He created you to be.  Ask Him to take off the masks and to uproot the lies that you aren’t good enough.

One of the most overlooked aspects to love – is learning to love yourself!

Don’t be normal.  Be you!

Monday, April 30, 2018


As Believers, we must love God first and seek His Kingdom first. We must not love our lives more than we love God.

The basis of God’s Kingdom is that we love God FIRST!! After that - we love people. If this order of love is twisted then the entire foundation of our relationship with God (and then people) will not work.  Our crooked places must be made straight by loving God more than we love people.

Jesus demonstrated this.  He was willing to walk away from everything and everyone in order to obey His Father!

If LOVE begins with the Father, then He will show us how to love with wisdom and depth of insight.  We won’t find ourselves in co-dependent cycles.  We won’t find ourselves being used by others.  We won’t find ourselves trying to “save” people with a “god” complex because by putting Him first, we love others with His love... not our fleshly understanding and shallow definition of love.

Jesus did nothing without the Father’s permission.  He only did what he saw the Father do.  He only spoke the words the Father spoke.  Jesus’s radical obedience was because He loved the Father... even to the point of dying on the cross.

Jesus loved His Father with all of his heart - mind - soul - and strength and He was willing to lose everything because of this love.  Let this be our goal!!

Father God please forgive us for loving people more than we love you.  Forgive us for loving our family more than you.  Forgive us for loving positions, money, power, and our lives more than we love You.

Let us love as Jesus did and obey you in all things!  Let our definition of love come from You and not the world.  Remove faulty thinking from our minds and renew our minds according to the Holy Spirit.  Put our love in the right order in Jesus name AMEN!


Thursday, April 19, 2018


Falling from Cloud Nine and Waking Up to the Truth

The Lord has been showing me He’s about to pull back a curtain in the US and reveal our true condition. The deeds done in darkness are going to be uncovered, and they will shake us to the very core.

It is going to be so disturbing as a nation that we are going to go through an identity crisis.

God has shown me not only are people I have suspected of wrongdoing going to be uncovered, but there are also people I have held in high esteem are going to come crashing to the ground. People I held up as inspirational and thought they were excellent examples of righteous leadership are going to be uncovered as frauds. I keep hearing the phrase “falling from cloud nine.”

This “unveiling” will be painful. It will include people in every arena of life. People in government, the church, the media, Hollywood, business, and education. The veil is going to come down all at once. And God has told me to brace myself because I do not even understand the depth of witchcraft, counterfeit, and manipulation that has been going on behind the scenes.

What should our reaction be when we find out the Wizard of Oz is just an old man with a booming mic and great special effects? What should be our reaction when someone we admired comes falling from grace? What should our reaction be when someone we loathe comes under judgment?

First, we should each humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God who knows every hidden thing. We each have our own secret sin, and we should be careful to not act like self-righteous Pharisees.

Hebrews 4:13 - Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

Second, no matter what is uncovered, justice must be served. God is no respecter of persons. Justice is part of love. If someone commits a crime, they have to do the time, even if they have been my “hero.” If someone brings harm, God will repay them. God loves justice, because it is part of His character. We must return to the fear of the Lord.

Isaiah 61:8 For I, the LORD, love justice; I hate robbery and wrongdoing.

Third, we should never rejoice when we see an enemy fall. We can rejoice when evil is removed. But we should not gloat when PEOPLE are humbled. We should pray for their salvation and the opening of their eyes to God’s mercy.

Psalm 24:17-18 Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice, or the Lord will see and disapprove and turn his wrath away from them.

Finally, if we find our world is turned upside down by the unveiling of wickedness, if we can’t seem to find our footing when trouble comes…then we are probably guilty of idolatry. We have put people on pedestals and served them as “saviors.” The person behind the curtain with a microphone and fancy special effects is a mere human and just as fallible as anyone else. If our hope has been in a person instead of Jesus, our feet have been planted on the sand.

In the coming days, if we fall from cloud nine because of the dethroning of the Wizards, let us find ourselves landing on the Rock! God is the One doing the uncovering – He’ll be the One to put us back together!

Proverbs 28:14 Blessed is the one who always trembles before God, but whoever hardens their heart falls into trouble.

Monday, April 16, 2018


I know this is going to sound foreign to some of you, but hear me out, because God wants to set some of you free!

Some of us have made friends with the spirit of torment, and it’s TIME TO BREAK UP!

As I have coached and counseled people to emotional freedom, I have found we often believe several lies causing us to make the spirit of torment our friend.  I know that sounds crazy, but it is the SAME THING as self-pity.  There is something about feeling sorry for ourselves we wrongly believe gives us power.  When the door in our life is open to the spirit of torment, we can learn to use that spirit in manipulative ways to bring us something we want.

The lies that open the door to a spirit of torment can come when we are children; we learn if we are in torment we get special treatment.  We learn if we are hurting, people pay special attention to us.  Sometimes it’s the only kind of love children can get, the spawn of negative reinforcement.  Children learn to make their torment known because it’s the only time they feel comforted and special.

As children, we can learn that being tormented gives us power.

This spills over into adulthood.

We sometimes welcome torment as a way of pampering ourselves.  We think I had a bad night of torment, so I’ll comfort myself with chocolate, or by checking out for a few hours on Netflix, or by posting something on Facebook to seek attention.  I’ll go on a little shopping spree because I’ve been so tormented lately.  So we tolerate torment because it gives us the power to pamper ourselves, and to gain some attention.

THIS. IS. A. LIE!  God loves to pamper His children.  He doesn’t need an excuse to pamper us.  Neither do we need an excuse to pamper ourselves.  It’s OK to have chocolate, Netflix, and shopping without it being a “reward” for your suffering.  But, it’s not okay to use “your suffering” as an excuse to gain attention. 

At times we can think that torment makes us holy.  We wrongly believe we’re so tormented because God has a “special plan” for us.  An example would be:  “God” wakes me up in the middle of the night and gives me prayer assignments.  In all actuality, God does not “torment” special people.  The Bible says “…[God] grants sleep to those he loves.” Psalm 127:2.  A spirit of torment may wake you up in the night, and GOD may take the opportunity to give you something to pray about.  But, if you aren’t getting the sleep you need, and it is regularly causing you a lack of healthy sleep – then IT IS a spirit of torment.

I remember one time a pastor telling me he was constantly being awakened by God in the middle of the night, and God would speak to him.  Sometimes he was so wide awake that he would go for walks in the middle of the night.  He felt God had chosen him to download many things in the night, and he felt special.  But, he was suffering for it in the daytime. He was constantly tired and grumpy.  He was running on fumes, but he believed it was God, so he asked his family to pay the price that he just wasn’t going to be 100%.  

I was able to share with this pastor this didn’t feel like God.  God wants to grant sleep to those he loves, and He is not a hard taskmaster.  I thought the enemy might be tormenting him.  He believed me, and we broke off that spirit.  Then, the pastor’s life returned to normal.

Torment doesn’t make you holy or special. Torment is just torment – it’s an evil spirit. If you are a son or daughter of God, you have authority over it.  A Father who loves His children doesn’t WANT to see His children in torment.  He can pamper us, and comfort us, and let us feel loved without using a spirit of torment.  God DOES NOT want His children to be tormented!

If this resonates with you, if you have used a spirit of torment as a way of receiving love or comfort, if you have thought a spirit of torment made you holier – it is time to BREAK UP with this spirit!

Always remember, For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” – 2 Timothy 1:7.  The spirit of torment is not these things!


1.       Break off Generational Torment using this prayer:

2.       Untangle yourself from this torment using this prayer:

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Why Won't These Demons Obey?

Luke 10: 18-19 “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. See, I have given you authority to tread on snakes and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy. Nothing will harm you."
If Jesus gave us authority over ALL of the power of the enemy and NOTHING is supposed to harm us... why is it STILL happening? Why won't these demons obey us?
Well... largely because Satan is a legalist.

He will use every single loophole he can find in order to keep you sick, depressed, deceived, and broke.

This is one of the main reasons the Body of Christ hasn’t reached maturity yet.  Because we think God’s grace overrides Satan’s legalism.  But it doesn’t.  Not when it comes to sin.

We cannot drive out what we are guilty of.  If we are guilty of the sin of manipulation, we cannot drive out Jezebel.

If we do not specifically ask forgiveness for the sin of manipulation--- then the enemy will use it to refuse to obey our commands.

A friend of mine kept having trouble in her home, with different fears and anxiety attacks coming over her children.  She tried and tried to get those demons to stop.  And she cried out to God for help.  He revealed to her in a dream that she was guilty of the sin of Pharmakeia.

(Pharmakeia is the strongman over the manipulation over medicine.  We are guilty of it when we try to come up with our own treatment for sickness instead of seeking God’s kingdom first.  This would include blindly taking prescriptions from the doctor without seeking for God’s wisdom first.  And certainly Pharmakeia has to do with all forms of taking illegal drugs in order to manipulate our minds and bodies into a false high.)

It occurred to her that her house had been a former drug house and she had prayed that every sin on the property would be forgiven.  But she didn’t have understanding about two things:

1.       Satan is a legalist and she had to specifically address Pharmakeia.

2.       She was guilty of Pharmakeia and the devil was not required to obey her commands.

But God, who is the Way-Maker, showed her the answer to her cry.

She repented for Pharmakeia, broke the generational sin, and then was able to address that specific spirit.

I feel that this is something that the Body of Christ MUST come to understand:  We must repent with specifics.  And we must war with specifics. Shotguns do not work very well in Spiritual Warfare.  We can't just aim and hope we hit our target. Snipers are much more effective. Specific targeted prayer is what God needs from us.

We close loopholes by letting the Holy Spirit lead us to take out every speck and log in our own eye before drawing our sword against the enemy’s kingdom.  It is when we can see clearly that we have authority over the devil and his demons.

I want to encourage everyone reading this to spend a prayer session being SPECIFIC in repentance.  Ask God to forgive you for the pencil you took in 5th grade.  Be that specific!

Let me help you get started.  Here is a list of things you can repent from.

I would ask you to listen closely to the Holy Spirit as well and use the Breaking Generational Sin Prayer (Click here) on anything He directs you to.  Be sure to seal it up by using this prayer after you spend time dusting for specifics!

Abandoning God’s will
Anger (towards God and others)
Neglecting people and God
Not believing God’s word
Performing for the approval of men
Buying the lie of shame
Being a victim
Emotional or Co-Dependency
Deceiving anyone
Letting depression win
Using escapism
Letting a spirit of failure bring paralyzation
Financially poor stewardship
Letting grief swallow our lives
Handing our identity over to men
Mocking others/gossip/slander
Lack of Faith/Fear
Lack of Motivation/Sloth
Religious Bondage
Violence and hatred
Sexual sin/Perversion
Idolatry of created things
Allow the Holy Spirit to bring up other specific sins…

Sunday, March 25, 2018

Freedom in Obedience - Guest Post by Michelle Daugharthy

I'm so pleased to introduce my friend Michelle Daugharthy to you.  Michelle is a beautiful person inside and out.  She has allowed God to take her mess and create a beautiful masterpiece from her life.  She is a wonderful wife, mother, and actress!  She acts in commercials and small films AND she writes!  Enjoy this piece of wisdom that she has written for us.

I am going to say something that may sound counter-intuitive.  There is FREEDOM walking in obedience.  We were actually created this way. 

We crave safe boundaries; it creates security.  A child will continue to push against any boundary you put in place to see if you really care enough to mean it.  “Yes!  If you don’t play in the street, then you are FREE to stay alive! That is how much I love you!”  “Yes!  If you are home by curfew and do not go to your boyfriend’s house alone, then you are FREE to not be burdened with the guilt that weighs from sexual sin!  That’s how much I love you!”

We can often fear that if we agree to walk in obedience to the Lord, He will ask us to give up something we love or do something really hard.   And He might.  BUT, trust me, if He asks you to give it up, it is because there is something better in store! 

A few years after my divorce, I was dating a man long distance for almost two years.  It was a challenging relationship.  He was a good, Christian man, but had some deep struggles with being OCD and over-critical that were less than life-giving in our relationship.  We broke up a few times, and each time I felt like we were supposed to get back together. 

He had so many of the qualities I longed for in a husband.  The thing is, he had a reeeeaaallly hard time committing to marriage because he was afraid he would regret his choice later.  I always went back and just tried to “work harder” on our relationship. The deeply implanted wounds and issues were not healed, and things got very bleak and hard again. 

When I was praying about what to do, I felt the Lord ask me, “If you knew I had something better for you around the corner, would you give him up?” 

I actually did not have to think too long…”Yes, Lord.  I will do that and trust you.”  So I broke it off for good.  He pleaded and pleaded with me to give him another chance, but I calmly held my ground.  It was hard.  I gave something up I really wanted.  And it hurt. 

But I also felt peace in the midst of that because I knew I obeyed God. I felt more free out of that relationship! I was even able to get to a place of being ok if I did not get married again because I knew the Lord was enough and He was taking care of me. 

Six months later, I met a man whom I was pretty smitten with right away.  Friends, God is SO good.  He knew what I needed in a mate, and I believe He had this man in mind for me.  (God just had to perform a minor miracle and move him back to our city!) 

Long story short, we married about 2 years after we met.  Now we have been married almost 9 years and have added two kids to our family, in addition to my daughter I have from my previous marriage.  Is it perfect? No.  Do we sometimes struggle?  Yes. But it is GOOD.  So good.  And don’t we all want what is good, the best for us?

God is a good father and knows how to give good gifts – the best gifts!  That is what He loves to do! In fact, His word tells us how He likes to give gifts:  …which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:9-11.)

Freedom does not mean just getting to do what we want.  Freedom is defined as the state of being at liberty rather than in confinement.  Friends, sin leads to confinement, to bondage….to slavery. 

Obedience is for our protection, and for our promise for freedom! Walking in obedience to God will always lead to greater joy, peace and freedom!

Will you follow and obey Him today?